Day 90: Finish 4th Novel

Since I was less than active from a night of debauchery the day found me mostly in bed. Therefore,  I was able to complete my fourth book from the summer. The book Honolulu really wasn’t that well written but presented an interesting story and even more interesting insight into the Korean culture. The rules of Confucianism dominated this culture;  it is a very male dominated society where simply being born female is a curse and source of shame for many. I have read four novels since school let out. I am now reading The Good Earth. I am determined to continue reading when school begins. I think the sting/pain of summer ending might be alleviated if I try to continue doing things I enjoy.  I want to still make time for reading, going to the beach, spending time with my kids, and having fun. Work shouldn’t be the end to living. I am going to try to do both.

Day 89: Wrap it all up

On our last night at the beach house the hubs and I took the darling children to my mom’s and treated ourselves to a night out. We enjoyed a great dinner and followed with a night of shananinigans and general tomfoolery. My favorite part of the evening occurred when a group of elderly women informed me that they enjoyed watching the hubs dance because he had “natural rhythm.” Something we were both very unaware of. I still I think I stole the show with my singing/ screaming along to Waylon Jennings. We didn’t come home until almost 1:00 am which is unheard of for a couple that is usually in REM asleep by 9:00. I firmly believe that it is a good thing we have children, because anytime we don’t have them we lose our heads and fool act.  A perfect ending to a perfect week.

Day 88: Sit

For the third day in a row we sat on the beach and watched the waves come and go. We watched the sun slide across the sky in record speed. We watched the kids build not only sand castles but memories as well.  We took occasional dips in the abnormally calm and clear gulf and we broke up the monotony with walks further down the beach. We built huge sand mounds with our feet from our beach chairs while we observed sea gulls dive for helpless fish.  We shared pretzels, bottle openers, stories and laughs and when we were done with those things we shared chips, and beer and jokes, and shade. We kept time by the suns position and the weight of the ice chest. Our brown sandy skin gave testament to our day’s employment and the only thing that infringed on our joy was the day’s end.

Empty Seats

Ridiculously Tanned

Day 87: Dance in the sand

It started with the kids performing a routine in honor of Kristen’s birthday. They had choreographed a darling dance to Katy Perry’s Firework. After the applause, we joined them in a spontaneous dance party on the beach. I do my best dancing when the music is loud, I am surrounded by friends, the sun is setting, and I’m ankle deep in sugar white sand.   Cooler heads kept me from doing my usual cartwheels and sloppy round offs so I this dance party did not leave me sore or achy.

Ready to Dance!

Day 86: Take the kids fishing

We joined my parents at their river front home for a delectable dinner of fried fish, pickles, slaw, and baked beans. Dad set the kids up with fishing rods and they were so excited about the endless supply of catfish they reeled in. Even Zach using Ansley’s old Barbie reel caught a few!  This was Zach’s first official attempt at fishing and it is clear he plans to do it lots more.  We returned to the beach house after a beautiful sunset and even more beautiful stock pile of memories.

Day 85: Stand in the Gulf at night

It's the same ocean that I positioned myself  in front of all day this week.  It's the same ocean that I learned to swim, ski, catch mackerel, and cuss in. Its the same ocean I have jumped in from the top of boats, rafts, my dad's shoulders, and the cold December's edge. It the same ocean I left bloody from gashes caused by the long copper wire protruding out of the patched black inner tube.  I have seen this ocean bring to the edge big blue bloated jelly fish, sand dollars in perfection, thousands of dead fish, and once, sadly, gallons of oil. But somehow this familiar constant in my life changes at dark. It seems scarier and more intimidating and much much quieter. At night, the moon illuminates the blackness and mystery of this strange sea. Standing in this gulf, under stars that were so bright they made noise,  I felt anxious and afraid even though I was right where I had always been. With the absence of light, even the most familiar things become mysterious strangers.

Topless In front of the Gulf at daytime 1977 (?)

Day 84: PLay scrabble with two very smart women and win

I finally one a game of Scrabble. It was the word Zen combined with another in the triple word score that pushedme to victory. Despite their attempts to break me, distract me, question me, and tease me,  I still managed to win. Its not very often I can find two willing adults to play a board game with me. It is one of my favorite activities. Next is Scattergories!

Day 83: Locate a Sea Turtle's Nest

Day one of vacation   resulted in an explosion of excitement and energy among six rather childish adults. The cloudy skies did not dampen our spirits. We enjoyed the scene from the porch and an occasional beach walk that got increasingly more difficult as the day went on. We did locate a sea turtle nest that was expected to hatch. The official watchers of the eggs were stationed around the nest eagerly awaiting the 180 plus newborns. Marilyn was much more committed to watching this event unfold. She recalled the last hatching when she was given a prized glove to help usher the creatures along the path. After walking to the nest, I opted to return to the porch where loud music and talking were accepted and appreciated; where as Marilyn sat quietly in the dark waiting patiently.

Day 82: Go on vacation

Today I began my week stay at the beach house.  I am looking forward to spending time with my family, friends, and the beach. The kids and I left Mobile in the middle of a heavy downpour knowing blue skies and a calm gulf waited us. I invited some dear friends to share the time with us to make it even more special. We will spend the week celebrating and giving thanks for many things including: Kristen’s 40^th birthday, the sun, friendship, Ipod playlists,  summertime, our kids, the blender, our beach chairs, the sunset, seagulls, and  beer packed ice chest. We will not be celebrating, mentioning, or worrying about any of the following: work, time, deadlines, weight, bills, housework, noise, sickness, tiredness, or irritability. The only rule for the week is to eschew all things that suck.

Day 81: Girl's Pool Day

I am lucky enough to have the time and opportunity and friends enough to spend yet another summer day  by the pool with a great group of women.  Once again, we gathered to talk, share, eat, swim, (drink) and most importantly laugh. We covered some very important topics from the final Harry Potter  to  a perfect boat name.  The day ended with a spontaneous dance party on the deck.  And a memory of yet another fun day spent in the company of friends.    

Day 80: Get a massage

I hate pedicures. I think it is painful, time consuming, overpriced, and ridiculous. I don’t like the  mindless chatter, the awkward silence,  or the outdated magazine pile.  I don’t get the  inevitable framed posters of long red nails holding a rose or a saxaphine held by mysteriously pink colored fingers. I never know what to say when I walk in and I never know what to tip.  And finally,  the ancestor worship station really gives me the creeps especially when I see a half of a pack of cigarettes lying beside a smoking incense.  In short, I would rather have a pap smear than a pedicure. But,  I will spend my last dollar on even a bad massage. So today, I treated myself to a one hour back massage.  Because it had been a while, there were some knots to attend to. Other than that, it was an hour of bliss. This rather large seemingly of Russian decent masseuse treated my body like a pile of pizza dough. I left  with a new awareness of  how fast an hour could actually go by- naked toes and all.

Day 79: Learn about a significant woman in history: Hildegard of Bingen

I found the story of Hildegard by researching significant women in history. Her story caught me because I was very unfamiliar with the era.  It was unheard of for a woman to be so versed in writing and music. She was known as a very gifted musician.. It was believed also that she had “vision” which modern historians interpret as possible seizures. Nevertheless, she devoted her life to her passions in a time when women, art, writing, were not highly appreciated or valued.

I thought these excerpts from her letters were interesting and applicable today:

A human being is a vessel that God has built for himself and filled with his inspiration so that his works are perfected in it.
Just as a mirror, which reflects all things, is set in its own container, so too the rational soul is placed in the fragile container of the body. In this way, the body is governed in its earthly life by the soul, and the soul contemplates heavenly things through faith.

“Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) was a remarkable woman, a "first" in many fields. At a time when few women wrote, Hildegard, known as "Sybil of the Rhine", produced major works of theology and visionary writings. When few women were accorded respect, she was consulted by and advised bishops, popes, and kings. She used the curative powers of natural objects for healing, and wrote treatises about natural history and medicinal uses of plants, animals, trees and stones. She is the first composer whose biography is known. She founded a vibrant convent, where her musical plays were performed. Although not yet canonized, Hildegard has been beatified, and is frequently referred to as St. Hildegard. Revival of interest in this extraordinary woman of the middle ages was initiated by musicologists and historians of science and religion. Less fortunately, Hildegard's visions and music had been hijacked by the New Age movement, whose music bears some resemblance to Hildegard's ethereal airs. Her story is important to all students of medieval history and culture and an inspirational account of an irresistible spirit and vibrant intellect overcoming social, physical, cultural, gender barriers to achieve timeless transcendence.”

Day 78: Catch, Cook, Clean and Create

We emptied the six crab traps that are tied to my parent’s pier on the river. The old traps housed about two dozen beautiful, yet  cranky, Gulf blue crabs. The menacing  otters had helped themselves to a few of these river gems the night before according to onlookers.  The cantankerous crustaceans then were put to a quick death by a swim in dad’s boiling water. After letting them cool, they were packed for the  one hour drive home. This morning, Zach and I spread the crabs on the porch table by the pool and began the task of cleaning and picking. My hard work yielded me about three cups of beautiful white iridescent lump  meat of the Callinectes sapidus.  I used this prize to make a delicious crab and corn bisque and a crab meat dip. Both dishes were devoured by very impressed eaters. So from the bottom of the Bon Secour River,  to my dad’s outdoor kitchen, a car ride across the bay, a poolside surgery, a variety of additions and a touch and a dash and a stir, and then finally two very delectable treats and a story to share.



Pre Surgery



Day 77: Drive to my childhood home

In 1974, my parents moved into their newly constructed dream home eon Muir Court. The three bedroom house had  a master with a walk in closet, a living room with tile floors,   a separate den, and dining room. Furthermore, it was equipped with every modern feature of the time shag carpet, automatic dish washer, electric oven, washer and dryer: all in  the very ubiquitous 70’s olive green tint.  My mother wondered how she would ever find enough to furnish such a massive home. Fortunately, she found green couches, curtains, lazy boys and dishes to match .

Almost three decades later, after two grown children,  3 college degrees,  one major hurricane, 8 different automobiles, More than 25 Christmas trees and Thanksgiving turkeys, two damn good Beagles, and one mean ass cat, they finally sold.

In this house they raised us, educate and entertained us.  We came to the house as babies and left  bigger, better, smarter, and taller.  We could not wait to leave that house and enter the world semi equipped to forge our own homes. My parents stood at the door and watched me leave and then years later opened the same door as I brought their first grandchild to visit. 

Nelson and I drove by the house today and we both were most struck by the smallness of it all. It wasn’t nearly as big as the homes we own now.  The yard we once combed in endless games of hide and seek and kick ball, seemed hardly the vast terrain it once was. This same yard my dad mowed and edged once a week was now hidden by a dilapidated boat and sea of weeds. The once thriving  court has now fallen victim to vacancies, renters, and time.   We briefly stopped the car and examined this tangible backdrop of our childhood and were momentarily without words.  For a second, all I could hear was my own voice combined with his playing  in the yard in front of us and my mother calling us in to eat.

The real tragedy of being young is not having yet developed an appreciation  for the  experience of childhood.  As a teen, I  could not wait to leave Muir Court.  And here we were parked in front searching for any signs of  us. But we were no longer there.  We are now filling up our own big houses now.

 We all rush through these magical years never realizing the biggest house you ever live in is your first.



Not Quite Ready For the Young Whiting Family



Mom and me

Day 76: Go to the Blue Angels Air Show

This is one of Nelson's pictures. Amazing!

 Today was spent renting a pontoon boat and riding to watch the Blue Angels perform over Pensacola for dad’s birthday.  The stunts the planes performed were amazing. Each time I see this show, I am always overwhelmed with patriotism. Seeing what our Navy is capable of leaves me to wonder why or how could anyone be brazen enough to be engaged in war with the U.S. A?

We love America!

Day 75: Learn 5 New Words

I love words. I love their power. I love to control them , own them use them and sometimes even change them. When I am reading, I really do look up words I am unfamiliar with. Today I found five new words to incorporate. This search began with hearing the word pontificate on Fox news. Here are the words I found and my attempt to use them.

Pontificate He spends too much time pontificating in front of the mirror.

Supercilious: He is always so supercilious; damn fool.

Expunge It’s a constant struggle to expunge ignorance.

Sanguine: I am an outcast at work because of my sanguine disposition.

Perspicacious: I have a perspicacious understanding of Barney.

After looking up these words, I sanguinly (?) pack my suitcase for yet another weekend at the beach. I am certain that my expunging of a bottle of wine will cause me to think I have a perspicacious understanding of life that I will try to pontificate in a very supercilious manner.

Day 74: Just say No

I was unable to complete any major  task today because of the drugs I had taken. I had the second part of my procedure (Essure) today and this required a rather healthy supply of  meds. Much more powerful than the occasional Tylenol I take when I have a cold.  Sometime during this recovery period, my supervisor telephoned to ask if I could possibly help with testing, to which I responded “I can’t answer right now because I am too F*$#ed  up! ” I then went on to explain to her that I was very high  from drugs and was incapable of making any type of decisions.  Fortunately, my dear friend was present to call her back and explain my bizarre and most unprofessional reply. I learned that when I am undergoing any type of procedures that require pain meds, it is better to not accept phone calls from work.  

Day 73: Buy a pair of red high heels

“It is all very well for so-called sensible people to recommend flat heels and short skirts, but most of us prefer not to be sensible.”
- Anna Held

Today I finally bought the red stiletto heels. They are ridiculously high and obnoxiously shiny.  They almost sparkle. Now the task lies ahead of me of finding an outfit and place to accompany them. But before this, I must learn to walk in these instruments of pain.  But like beer, I am certain the fun will be worth the suffering.

Day 72: Join a nation in watching an event unfold

Today was one of those days in one’s life that they always remember where they were when they heard the news. The media frenzy successfully created a public obsession with the Casey Anthony trial. So when the verdict was read, I like most American was completely dismayed. However, I wonder if the jury realized that by acquitting her she would suffer far more out of prison than if she were incarcerated. She will soon be released into a society that despises her. She will try to make a life in a world that is unified in wanting her executed.  Images of her partying while her daughter rotted in a swamp will forever be burned in the memory of anyone who was old enough to turn on the telvision today. Her face will forever be the symbol of evil, selfishness, and murder. There is a reason Hitler committed suicide in the hours before his arrest.

Day 71: Watch Fire Works at night

Rather than attend the fireworks celebration downtown, we pulled a chair in the front yard and watched a spectacular show put on by neighbors. Zach sat in my lap transfixed by the sounds and the lights in the sky. There are few things better than watching fireworks from your front yard with your two year old in your lap. Happy Fourth it was!

Day 70: Start the day with a walk on the beach

Today began with a long walk on the beach in search of seashells. I finished the walk by swimming in the very warm Gulf.  I can’t think of any better way to start the day. It was made better by the company of my family which included a very excited Zach.  

Day 69: Create My Commandments

I finished compiling my all time favorite quotations into what I will now refer to as “My Commandments.” These are all from artists and thinkers that have influenced me profoundly.

1.      Dismiss whatever insults your own soul. Walt Whitman

2.      Simplify, Simplify. Our life is frittered away by detail. Henry David Thoreau

3.      Laugh Often and Much. Ralph Waldo Emerson

4.      Imitate Jesus and Socrates. Ben Franklin

5.      Be the change you want to see in the world. Ghandi

6.      The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences. Eleanor Roosevelt

7.      Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. Yeats.

8.      The last of human freedoms- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way. Viktor Frankly

9.      Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

10.  Changes in latitude, changes in attitude, nothing remains quite the same… if we couldn’t laugh we’d all go insane. Jimmy Buffet

11.   Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain

12.    Practice non judgment. Take time each day to be silent, to just be.  Chopra

13.    Don’t be afraid to be happy. Enjoy what is beautiful. Love with all your heart and soul. Believe that those you love, love you. SH Payer

14.    Life is a self fulfilling prophecy.

15. If I had my life to live over again, I would have sat cross legged in the grass and not worried about grass stains... Erma Bombeck

Day 68: Watch a Great Movie a Second Time

Today I re-watched a movie called The Pianist. This is a   movie about a Polish piano player, Władysław Szpilman during the Holocaust.  Szpilman managed to escape death and lived until 2000. The story reminds me of the importance of art (music, painting, literature) even in the midst of war.  I had seen the movie years ago and re-watched it because of the impact it had on me. When I read or watch a Holocaust story, I am always struck by the essential recentness of this event. My grandparents were adults.  There were phones, and cars, and records, and movies and celebrities. There were refrigerators and roads and radios. This wasn’t ancient history; it was literally just a few decades ago. Can we ensure something like this never happens again? I really don’t know.    

Here is an excerpt from his biography:

Everyone in his family was deported in 1942 an extermination camp in the East. Szpilman managed to flee from the transport loading site with the help of a family acquaintance who grabbed him from the crowd and shooed him away from the waiting train. His name was Itzchak Heller and he worked as a Jewish policeman in the ghetto. None of Szpilman's family members survived the war. Szpilman was left in the ghetto as a laborer and helped smuggle in weapons for the coming Jewish resistance uprising. He avoided capture and death by the Germans several times. Szpilman remained in the Warsaw Ghetto until it was abolished after the deportation of most of its inhabitants and went into hiding.
As set out in his memoir, Szpilman found places to hide in Warsaw and survived with the help of his friends from Polish Radio and fellow musicians. In November 1944, Szpilman was hiding out in an abandoned building when he was found by a German officer. Surprisingly, the officer did not kill Szpilman, but instead after finding out that he was a pianist, asked Szpilman to play for him on a piano they had found. After that, the officer showed Szpilman a better place to hide and brought him bread and jam on numerous occasions. He also offered Szpilman one of his coats to keep warm in the freezing temperatures.

Day 67: Girl's Pool Day

Of course after an afternoon at a convent, it would only make sense I should meet some of my friends for a girl’s pool day.  It was a great day spent in the company of girls unafraid to voice their opinion or butt in. We started a book of rules to be added to with each additional get together. The main rule we all agreed was to make time for each other and continue to make dips out of cream cheese. 

Day 66: Go to the Visitation Monestary

Day 65: Stop my Baby Maker

Today I began a procedure of permanent birth control. It wasn’t a hard decision having brought into this world two very healthy, beautiful,  intelligent and precious children.  I also have the pleasure of being a step mother to another two amazing kids. So with four kids between us, we felt sure that our family is complete. However, it was a bitter sweet moment to think that chapter of my life is permanently over. I have found more joy and fulfillment in motherhood than any other aspect of my life. It is truly my reason for being.  But babies are loud, messy, expensive and demanding and not something I want in my 40’s unless I can return them to their mother.  So I was thirty minutes early for my appointment.

The kids and a the hubs

Day 64: Create a budget

I spent some time this morning actually planning and typing out a budget.It occurred to me that if I stop eating out and shopping at Target, Kohl’s, Gymboree, Gap,  and Hobby Lobby I should be able to save thousands each year. By the time I post this blog, I have lost the budget, eaten out at least five times and shopped at every store within a mile vicinity of my home. I didn’t vow to stick to a budget, rather just create one. Done.