mothers

Ansley is 13!

My dearest Ansley

On your 13^th birthday

For weeks, now I have been trying to compose a letter to impart on you some advice and reflection at this particular milestone in your life. The words did not fail me in the least bit. I found my words forming stories about a perfectly formed miracle spending an afternoon covering the yard in camellia petals or chasing seagulls with wild abandon down the gulf’s edge. After several restarts my letter would morph into this formal speech where I praised all of your qualities that are not at all hidden from anyone that knows you. I decided what I most wanted to do is give you 13 lessons, observations, and truths that will help make these next extraordinary years leading to adulthood easier to navigate. Here is what I have learned along the way dear daughter:

1.     “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.” It really is as simple and beautiful as that. It won’t always make sense, be easy, or even be fair, but His plan is far beyond our comprehension. Trust that the challenges and hardships are a necessary part to chisel out our character.

2.     Slow down, pay attention, enjoy the view. Stop and breathe. Pay attention to sunrises, and full moons, and crickets chirping, and the tide changing. Never neglect a sunset or an opportunity to walk barefoot. Go slow!

3.     Stay organized. Every facet of your life will be profoundly easier if you make time and place for everything.

4.     Every day, every moment, be grateful. Incorporate a lifelong habit of gratitude practice. You wake up, you breathe, you eat, you are thankful.  

5.     Save 20% of every dollar you earn or receive. Start now!

6.     Be creative often. Reject routine and fear; silence your inner critic. Paint some, write some, sing some, and dance some. Jump in and create!

7.     Always be optimistic. You are blessed with this character trait and as a result your life will be so much easier. Smile and laugh every day and the universe will reward you.

8.     Don’t compare yourself with others. Ever. You are you, unique and extraordinary. As you learn who you are, embrace her as I have done from the moment you took your first breath.

9.     Never stop being silly. Do cartwheels, ride a bike, dance, play in the rain, sing loud, don’t let the fear of disapproval keep you from enjoying life.

10.   Every day, learn something new. Devote your time to learning and acquiring knowledge from the infinite amount of resources at your disposal. Read every day, ask questions, and be curious. Cultivate your mind; learn about art, and ancient civilizations and the mysteries of outer space and the wonders of nature. Memorize lines of poetry and study the classics. Know your American authors your British poets, and your classic Greeks. Nourish your mind so you will always be more than a beautiful face.

11.   Walt Whitman said “Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” Memorize these words as I did. Eventually these words will bring you clarity and harmony and peace that you would otherwise would never know.

12.   Practice non-judgement. “Be the change” said Roosevelt. Understand that everybody hurts; everybody is struggling with insecurities, doubts, fears. No one especially at your age quite has it all figured out. So encounter people with grace, acceptance, and prayer. Judge no one.

13.   Know that my love for you is unconditional.  I love you dearest daughter, and I am so excited about your future. You and I started out with some unfair challenges and uncertainties, but I never doubted that with our love and genuine friendship, we would overcome. And we did!  You have made me so proud since your first moment; this will never change.

Happy Birthday “Scooty Boot”. I love you more than all the blades of grass in the world! Go forward and make it extraordinary.

When I began this project I was a year away from turning 40. I set out to complete a list of adventures, to do's, dares, tasks, challenges so I could end my 4th decade with a sense of accomplishment. After several months, I had ridden a horse up a mountain in North Georgia, milked cows, painted, written, danced, planted, and even sang. This living deliberately was enriching my life in a way I never imagined. I found myself becoming more open to the endless opportunities the universe offers  to help us grow. Ultimately, the blog became secondary and the habits I was creating became intrinsic. Now I am almost a year into being 40. And its almost cliche to say I LOVE IT.  I love the keen sense of awareness that I have inherited. I love the understanding I have of the world that I gained from cutting my teeth on life's very rough edges. In my 20's, I could never have fully understood gratitude. I was too busy wanting more. I didn't take time to relish in life's blessings because I was always in a hurry. I never took time to embrace the unconventional because I was so concerned about fitting in. Now,  I am going to resurrect this blog. It will still be 365 days. However, it is no longer a count down to some ominous end. It is a daily reminder to take chances and embrace each day. I will share my daily attempts to live with purpose and deliberation at 40, 41...

Day 207: Extreme Couponing

Armed with an envelope full of coupons, I entered the grocery store prepared for monumental victory. I had near me two eager 10 yeard olds to scout out the products and deliver the goods. Our first stop was the baking aisle where we secured a variety of Martha White goods which I vowed to try for the first time. Our excitement could no longer be contained when we realized we were getting blue berry muffin mix for only 50 cents! Imagine the decline of our spirits when we had to pass on  Purina dog chow for  $3 (with our coupon and store clearance) because we just don't have a dog. With a rekindled spirit, we marched to the cracker aisle where we matched our coupons with more than a half dozen cracker brands. I reminded my young assistants that it matters not what we don't normally eat stoned ground peppercorn thins, the only thing that matters is the price. I knew we couldnt have a repeat of the Purina episode.  It was finally time to check out, and see our hard work materialize in a numerical savings. After some time, and the sweet delivery of coupons, I walked out of the grocery store with a savings of $13 and more crackers, muffin mix, and canned biscuits than will ever need.

Day 206: Memorize all of the presidents

As I enter adulthood, I know the importance of keeping my mind active and sharp. Rather than complete a  crossword or Soduku,  I memorized  all of the presidents in a quiz offered on Smithsonian.com. After several attempts and hours, I can proudly say I was able to list all of the presidents (even the more obscure Polk, Harding, Hayes, Fillmore, Garfield, and Chester Arthur) in less than 3 minutes.  With this knowledge I plan to do little more than possibly impress my 5th grader.

Day 205: Finish the scrapbook

I finally completed the scrapbook I have been working on all year. It is 25 pages that cover the year 2010. It includes our annual New Year's at the beach, Mardi Gras, a trip to Disney and Atlanta, the Hangout Festival, family portraits, a recital, football games, school pictures, motorcycle riding, plane riding, pool days, Easter, Halloween, Christmas, our birthdays and other parties like girls night out and my parent's anniversary. Whew! I'm tired from listing this, making the scrapbook, and doing all of that in one year!

Day 204: Paint Pottery

After several hours painting at the pottery store, I can now cross paint pottery off of my list. I am proud of the platter I created; I chose to paint the words "have fun yall." Unfortunately, sometimes people have to be gently reminded of this very simple- yet very important rule. I certainly had plenty of fun while creating this masterpiece.

Day 203: Personality Profile

Every few years I retake the Myers/Briggs personality test. And each time the results are the same.  I am an ESFJ. In short, I am extroverted, sensitive, restless, and somewhat bossy and talkative.  The only change in the results in the last ten years is that I score more strongly in each component of the ESFJ. I was certain my husband would find these results absolutely fascinating. I was most perplexed to see his renewed interest in Law and Order as I read to him from the appendix of the book.  He even declined an offer to take the 70 question profile test himself! Fortunately for him, I was able to discern his personality type without a test.  I simply found the opposite profile of me. Even this, he didn’t find interesting.  However, despite his disdain for psychoanalysis found in a $12 book from Amazon, I love my INTP.

Day 202: Write poetry with students

This week, my creative writing classes are completing a poetry unit. Each day, I read some of my favorite poems to them and then provide them suggestions, “prompts” to get them started. I must admit reading and writing poetry with young people can be a pleasant way to spend the day. I have done this unit for years. The primary difference this year is I have challenged myself to write poems myself. So each time I have given them a “prompt” I provide my own examples.  Poetry is very difficult for me because it mandates such brevity and precision; I have a penchant for the wordy and over developed. Nevertheless, I attempted it and here is a sample:

Watching him design and build

Tiny villages for

Yellow dinosaurs and   firemen with

Red painted d smiles.

I am just a silent onlooker

In his world

Where a deflated Spiderman sleeps quietly

And a green tractor makes idle threats

To a pile of wooden blocks.

I stand silently and unnoticed

 Thankful

Time stands still for us both.

Day 201: Cupcake Shopping

We treated ourselves to a box of cupcakes from one of the area's cupcake stores. For $13 I got 6 cupcakes! I don't think I will make this a habit even though everyone seemed to appreciate the dessert. Ansley maintains that when she grows up she wants to own a cupcake store. I hope her cupcakes are more affordable.

Day 200: Slow Down

Because of an unexplained fever, Zach and I were home again today. Fortunately, he showed no signs of illness. Following my own advice to eschew house work, I let Zach dictate the course of the day. So naturally, after a trip to Big Lots, we were the proud owners of a 8 foot penguin. Once we returned home, we unpacked the new addition and brought him to life. This resulted in a series of wild screams and cheers from us both as the pile of plastic took shape and grew taller. We then went to McDonald's for a much deserved lunch. It took us some time to actually go in-  as we had to investigate the motorcycle parked by the door and the nearby newspaper machine. Later, we watched a few episodes of Curios George and played with "Bumpy Bump." This is the Humpty Dumpty toy that comes with the Happy Meal.
On this 200th day of my "project" I was grateful to have some time to be home and slow down. Since school started I seem to have been so "busy." This extra time reminded me not to let work/errands  get in the way of living. We are all responsbile for the pace we set in our lives, and after a day like today, I am making an effort to slow it down. Life is more meaningful when you take time to seek out penguins.

Day 199: Attend Football Banquet

Ansley's cheer/football banquet was held tonight. Here, the players and cheerleaders were awarded for their hard work during the season. Even I can't say much else about these three hours other than it gave me a great opportunity to learn how to use my new camera.

Day 198: Catch up

Today I found myself the unexpected owner of a few extra hours in an empty home. Unable to walk (race) I used these precious hours to compose these entries and catch up on my blog. By the time the kids returned from their outing with San San and Pee PAw, I was ready to face paint. 

Day 197: Run a 5K

I did it! I did it! I did it! Of all the things I set out to do this year, this will certainly be in the top 10 (after milking a cow, riding a horse, and dancing in the sand). I actually completed a 5K run. And surprisingly, I actually ran a lot. My overall time was 37 minutes; my original goal was to complete the race under an hour. During these 37 minutes I learned a few life lessons. I learned to pace myself, I learned with good music anything is possible, and always smile at the finish line even if your last.

Day 188-196: Nine days

In order to catch up on my posts, I will summarize these nine days. Worked hard, week ended, fried fish for friends. Auburn won. Stayed up too late. Lots of movies on Sunday. Halloween was great. Included all the standards: costumes, happy kids, candy, friends and family and food. I made my Kitty Litter cake that wasn’t ignored, and my parents had unforgettable costumes.   Memories were made. Bought a new camera: Nikon D3100. Now my photography obsession will certainly get out of hand. We all got sick, stayed home with Zach.  Ate lots of take out including Chinese and pizza, but made turkey spaghetti to eat the night before the race.  Had my first official meeting with the club I started and we had our picture made for the yearbook.  Sent flowers to someone I love.  Started watching the original documentary of Gray Gardens, this is most perplexing and odd. Had students write and decorate letters to Santa in order to remember being 7 again. Bought coloring books to help.  Went to bed Friday night nervous, unprepared and doubtful of the Saturday morning plans before me.

Day 187: Go to the Fair

Today I took four excited kids and mom to the Greater Gulf State Fair. From the top of the Ferris wheel we could see the fair spilling out beneath us. There was a rodeo, livestock, rides for all ages, and countless food booths. One booth advertised fried kool aid?? The girls enjoyed the rides that basically shook their bodies until they were dizzy; there were  several rides like this. They played games offered by the proverbial wayward carnie. And of course, we didn’t leave without our traditional bear claw beneath a mountain of powdered sugar. In the last month I have visited the circus, zoo, and fair.

Day 186: Ansley's last Cheer Game of the year

Tonight was Ansley’s last football game to cheer at until next year. I watch her on the field, so graceful, so happy, and still so self assured.  Between cheers she giggles with other cheerleaders, and readjust her pony tail. She is so perfect to me in every way. I have yet to see so much as a play of the football game because I can’t take my eyes off of her. Next year, when football and cheer returns, I naively hope she hasn’t changed.

Day 185: Letters to Veterans

I had student write letters to veterans. We will mail these letters to VA homes in Florida, Tennessee, California, Alabama, and Mississippi. By having each student write 2 letters, I now have over 100 letters to send. I hope the letters find their way and possibly make some type of small difference.

Day 184: Seashells on Sunday

JP and I took a very long walk on the beach. The weather was perfect, the gulf was calm the water was clear. Our only companions were the bewildered seagulls and one cranky Heron.  At the end of our walk I had a bag of sea shells and a refreshed spirit.

Day 183: Stop to watch the sunset

 I was lucky enough to witness a beautiful sun set this evening. The sky was painted in several shades of orange and just a few hours earlier it was a clear solid blue. These words nor the photos attached will not come close to capturing the scene I was able to behold.  Once again, reaffirming the lesson I learned earlier from Zach this week that the world is so full of wonder if we just take the time to observe.

The sky just a few hours before sunset