Ansley is 13!

My dearest Ansley

On your 13^th birthday

For weeks, now I have been trying to compose a letter to impart on you some advice and reflection at this particular milestone in your life. The words did not fail me in the least bit. I found my words forming stories about a perfectly formed miracle spending an afternoon covering the yard in camellia petals or chasing seagulls with wild abandon down the gulf’s edge. After several restarts my letter would morph into this formal speech where I praised all of your qualities that are not at all hidden from anyone that knows you. I decided what I most wanted to do is give you 13 lessons, observations, and truths that will help make these next extraordinary years leading to adulthood easier to navigate. Here is what I have learned along the way dear daughter:

1.     “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.” It really is as simple and beautiful as that. It won’t always make sense, be easy, or even be fair, but His plan is far beyond our comprehension. Trust that the challenges and hardships are a necessary part to chisel out our character.

2.     Slow down, pay attention, enjoy the view. Stop and breathe. Pay attention to sunrises, and full moons, and crickets chirping, and the tide changing. Never neglect a sunset or an opportunity to walk barefoot. Go slow!

3.     Stay organized. Every facet of your life will be profoundly easier if you make time and place for everything.

4.     Every day, every moment, be grateful. Incorporate a lifelong habit of gratitude practice. You wake up, you breathe, you eat, you are thankful.  

5.     Save 20% of every dollar you earn or receive. Start now!

6.     Be creative often. Reject routine and fear; silence your inner critic. Paint some, write some, sing some, and dance some. Jump in and create!

7.     Always be optimistic. You are blessed with this character trait and as a result your life will be so much easier. Smile and laugh every day and the universe will reward you.

8.     Don’t compare yourself with others. Ever. You are you, unique and extraordinary. As you learn who you are, embrace her as I have done from the moment you took your first breath.

9.     Never stop being silly. Do cartwheels, ride a bike, dance, play in the rain, sing loud, don’t let the fear of disapproval keep you from enjoying life.

10.   Every day, learn something new. Devote your time to learning and acquiring knowledge from the infinite amount of resources at your disposal. Read every day, ask questions, and be curious. Cultivate your mind; learn about art, and ancient civilizations and the mysteries of outer space and the wonders of nature. Memorize lines of poetry and study the classics. Know your American authors your British poets, and your classic Greeks. Nourish your mind so you will always be more than a beautiful face.

11.   Walt Whitman said “Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” Memorize these words as I did. Eventually these words will bring you clarity and harmony and peace that you would otherwise would never know.

12.   Practice non-judgement. “Be the change” said Roosevelt. Understand that everybody hurts; everybody is struggling with insecurities, doubts, fears. No one especially at your age quite has it all figured out. So encounter people with grace, acceptance, and prayer. Judge no one.

13.   Know that my love for you is unconditional.  I love you dearest daughter, and I am so excited about your future. You and I started out with some unfair challenges and uncertainties, but I never doubted that with our love and genuine friendship, we would overcome. And we did!  You have made me so proud since your first moment; this will never change.

Happy Birthday “Scooty Boot”. I love you more than all the blades of grass in the world! Go forward and make it extraordinary.