mothers

Ansley is 13!

My dearest Ansley

On your 13^th birthday

For weeks, now I have been trying to compose a letter to impart on you some advice and reflection at this particular milestone in your life. The words did not fail me in the least bit. I found my words forming stories about a perfectly formed miracle spending an afternoon covering the yard in camellia petals or chasing seagulls with wild abandon down the gulf’s edge. After several restarts my letter would morph into this formal speech where I praised all of your qualities that are not at all hidden from anyone that knows you. I decided what I most wanted to do is give you 13 lessons, observations, and truths that will help make these next extraordinary years leading to adulthood easier to navigate. Here is what I have learned along the way dear daughter:

1.     “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.” It really is as simple and beautiful as that. It won’t always make sense, be easy, or even be fair, but His plan is far beyond our comprehension. Trust that the challenges and hardships are a necessary part to chisel out our character.

2.     Slow down, pay attention, enjoy the view. Stop and breathe. Pay attention to sunrises, and full moons, and crickets chirping, and the tide changing. Never neglect a sunset or an opportunity to walk barefoot. Go slow!

3.     Stay organized. Every facet of your life will be profoundly easier if you make time and place for everything.

4.     Every day, every moment, be grateful. Incorporate a lifelong habit of gratitude practice. You wake up, you breathe, you eat, you are thankful.  

5.     Save 20% of every dollar you earn or receive. Start now!

6.     Be creative often. Reject routine and fear; silence your inner critic. Paint some, write some, sing some, and dance some. Jump in and create!

7.     Always be optimistic. You are blessed with this character trait and as a result your life will be so much easier. Smile and laugh every day and the universe will reward you.

8.     Don’t compare yourself with others. Ever. You are you, unique and extraordinary. As you learn who you are, embrace her as I have done from the moment you took your first breath.

9.     Never stop being silly. Do cartwheels, ride a bike, dance, play in the rain, sing loud, don’t let the fear of disapproval keep you from enjoying life.

10.   Every day, learn something new. Devote your time to learning and acquiring knowledge from the infinite amount of resources at your disposal. Read every day, ask questions, and be curious. Cultivate your mind; learn about art, and ancient civilizations and the mysteries of outer space and the wonders of nature. Memorize lines of poetry and study the classics. Know your American authors your British poets, and your classic Greeks. Nourish your mind so you will always be more than a beautiful face.

11.   Walt Whitman said “Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” Memorize these words as I did. Eventually these words will bring you clarity and harmony and peace that you would otherwise would never know.

12.   Practice non-judgement. “Be the change” said Roosevelt. Understand that everybody hurts; everybody is struggling with insecurities, doubts, fears. No one especially at your age quite has it all figured out. So encounter people with grace, acceptance, and prayer. Judge no one.

13.   Know that my love for you is unconditional.  I love you dearest daughter, and I am so excited about your future. You and I started out with some unfair challenges and uncertainties, but I never doubted that with our love and genuine friendship, we would overcome. And we did!  You have made me so proud since your first moment; this will never change.

Happy Birthday “Scooty Boot”. I love you more than all the blades of grass in the world! Go forward and make it extraordinary.

When I began this project I was a year away from turning 40. I set out to complete a list of adventures, to do's, dares, tasks, challenges so I could end my 4th decade with a sense of accomplishment. After several months, I had ridden a horse up a mountain in North Georgia, milked cows, painted, written, danced, planted, and even sang. This living deliberately was enriching my life in a way I never imagined. I found myself becoming more open to the endless opportunities the universe offers  to help us grow. Ultimately, the blog became secondary and the habits I was creating became intrinsic. Now I am almost a year into being 40. And its almost cliche to say I LOVE IT.  I love the keen sense of awareness that I have inherited. I love the understanding I have of the world that I gained from cutting my teeth on life's very rough edges. In my 20's, I could never have fully understood gratitude. I was too busy wanting more. I didn't take time to relish in life's blessings because I was always in a hurry. I never took time to embrace the unconventional because I was so concerned about fitting in. Now,  I am going to resurrect this blog. It will still be 365 days. However, it is no longer a count down to some ominous end. It is a daily reminder to take chances and embrace each day. I will share my daily attempts to live with purpose and deliberation at 40, 41...

Day 207: Extreme Couponing

Armed with an envelope full of coupons, I entered the grocery store prepared for monumental victory. I had near me two eager 10 yeard olds to scout out the products and deliver the goods. Our first stop was the baking aisle where we secured a variety of Martha White goods which I vowed to try for the first time. Our excitement could no longer be contained when we realized we were getting blue berry muffin mix for only 50 cents! Imagine the decline of our spirits when we had to pass on  Purina dog chow for  $3 (with our coupon and store clearance) because we just don't have a dog. With a rekindled spirit, we marched to the cracker aisle where we matched our coupons with more than a half dozen cracker brands. I reminded my young assistants that it matters not what we don't normally eat stoned ground peppercorn thins, the only thing that matters is the price. I knew we couldnt have a repeat of the Purina episode.  It was finally time to check out, and see our hard work materialize in a numerical savings. After some time, and the sweet delivery of coupons, I walked out of the grocery store with a savings of $13 and more crackers, muffin mix, and canned biscuits than will ever need.

Day 206: Memorize all of the presidents

As I enter adulthood, I know the importance of keeping my mind active and sharp. Rather than complete a  crossword or Soduku,  I memorized  all of the presidents in a quiz offered on Smithsonian.com. After several attempts and hours, I can proudly say I was able to list all of the presidents (even the more obscure Polk, Harding, Hayes, Fillmore, Garfield, and Chester Arthur) in less than 3 minutes.  With this knowledge I plan to do little more than possibly impress my 5th grader.

Day 205: Finish the scrapbook

I finally completed the scrapbook I have been working on all year. It is 25 pages that cover the year 2010. It includes our annual New Year's at the beach, Mardi Gras, a trip to Disney and Atlanta, the Hangout Festival, family portraits, a recital, football games, school pictures, motorcycle riding, plane riding, pool days, Easter, Halloween, Christmas, our birthdays and other parties like girls night out and my parent's anniversary. Whew! I'm tired from listing this, making the scrapbook, and doing all of that in one year!

Day 204: Paint Pottery

After several hours painting at the pottery store, I can now cross paint pottery off of my list. I am proud of the platter I created; I chose to paint the words "have fun yall." Unfortunately, sometimes people have to be gently reminded of this very simple- yet very important rule. I certainly had plenty of fun while creating this masterpiece.